We all long for love. In our youth, we usually do not doubt that a beautiful person is waiting for us in life, but not everyone manages to experience it in the end. It can't be defined exactly. It is a deep feeling, which, despite the common denominators, is individual, so each of us imagines something a little different under the concept of love.
Sometimes I ask people I happen to meet what love means to them. Hardly anyone can answer that specifically. I often hear only: It has to be just felt. I like to compare love to water. At first, it is like a stream and finally a calm deep river, which no longer flows so fast, but apparently has its fixed banks and certainties.
Usually, love is preceded by love. Is it a prerequisite for true love? For a full-fledged loving relationship coupled with an intimate life, love is important because of the sparkle, the dynamics of the relationship. This is also important for the couple's future because they can return to a happy love period in times of crisis. Love can also spring from friendship, where there is no lack of respect, shared sharing and value system, as well as the ability to communicate, but it can then be tied precisely to intimacy and physical closeness---and I am talking not only about sex as such but also about tenderness, caressing, support in a physical way.
What if the erotic sparkle is missing? People talk to me who feel like siblings, friends in a long-term relationship. They know that the partner is the right one for life, reliable, proven by a common partner history, experience and shared experiences. But erotic esprit is missing. At that moment, someone else appears, a new one, about which they know practically nothing, but there is a spark that they have not experienced before. Of course, they're dealing with a dilemma about what to do next.
What could love do in its absence? Trust, confidence and generosity, awareness of mutual support and that we can handle the other crisis moment, that we will be able to take care of each other, that we have mutual respect and the ability to communicate---these are the cornerstones. Sharing free time matters as it's important that the two of them can create something new together that they can remember and connect. But beware: a lot of people confuse addiction with love in a relationship. They think that they can't be without each other when they're in a relationship, but freedom is part of love. Freedom denied, apathy welcomed.
What is morbid love? The lack of self-confidence of one of the partners enters into expressions of such love. From this comes jealousy, addiction, limiting the other---this is the beginning of the end.
What about the fate of Platonic love? Platonic loves tend to be strong precisely because of their unfulfilled state, and sometimes they are perceived as fatal, thanks to them as we have---often in times of partnership crisis---the space to dream of what it would be like if it meets a happy end. If we're currently happy, the power of that love is receding, but somewhere in the back, it's still there to come in the hard times. We usually have to lose the love of fate and live our partner's life so that somewhere in the back we feel that the "right" persists in us. Fateful people often meet repeatedly in life, sometimes at random---and, yet they feel as if time is running out in the meantime---only to eventually understand that they belong together in the sea.
How does lust differ from love? A person in love wants to spend the most time with the other person and feels everything that is happening, not only physically, but also mentally, as a miracle. When the urge of lust is met, love is still a beautiful charm.
Why does it always wear off? Everything wears off once, and not just in relationships, but in any emotion. A partnership is a very fragile affair, much more fragile than friendship, enthusiasm for work or passion for the sport. When two strangers meet, they fall in love, they perceive the beauty of the world with all their senses, but they can't feel it all the time, that's a chimaera, even if it's beautiful.
How does friendship differ from love? Friendship differs in the absence of erotica and chemistry. A lot of people don't believe in a man-woman friendship. They say it always has to skip 'something'. But I think even if it doesn't, it doesn't mean that the male-female relationship doesn't have a lot of other qualities that belong to a friendly relationship. But once I fall in love with a friend, it's a mess. Love is always a mess. Friendship has its limits in that sense.
Is friendship a condition of true love? I think so. The basis of true love is friendship, love comes along with the added value of mutual attraction. Friendship is one thing where we understand each other very well and enjoy the same things, we can lean on each other if necessary, but I can't imagine true love without a deep friendship.
How do we know it's true love? I believe in the instinct that there comes a time when we feel that's it. Just as we know we're having an orgasm, I just think you can recognize great love. And if we can't feel it, I don't think it's right. But the more we feel like a great and strong love, the more distance we need over time so that we don't fly on the rapids of that beautiful feeling, but check it out over time. If we want to stay with the right person, we have to wait and not dive into a binding and responsible relationship just after, say, six months. But many people keep sharing a household with someone just for fear of being left alone and stay afraid that they might never meet the "right person."
Does the chance to meet the right person grow with age? As teenagers, we don't really know anything because we follow a pattern of parent behaviour, and we don't have our own partner experience. Only experience and maturity in life can better tell us who the right person for our lives is. Fortunately, the days depicting the life scenario dictate to young people the time when to enter into marriage is over.
They do, but relationships are falling apart even more often than before even though it seems outward with the stability of love, and partner values, it goes from ten to five in today's society, I don't feel that way. The more I get to know the people who come to me, the more I'm edifying myself that they have not lost the need for true love, a period has long since returned when we really care about the quality of the relationship.
What did our grandmothers imagine under the term love and what about the young generation today? People today remember a lot about the beautiful relationship of grandparents, which was built on reliability and economic certainty. Because they didn't live in such a hectic time as we do, rather they talked more, they knew how to listen, and over the years they learned to complement each other perfectly. The pillar of the relationship at that time was mainly mutual certainty and security, from which partner wisdom was born, and love was often created only as an added value. Our grandmothers were diplomats "pulling strings", accustomed mainly to the patriarchal model they had allowed their husband to experience. Love wasn't thought about that much.
Love was based on safety and security. What is it leaning on today? The values---what we all want---remained the same. They just matched the possibilities of men and women. It is no longer strictly expected of a man just a paycheque and a woman's care for the household. Their roles are no longer predetermined, they both freely choose how they want to live, and at the same time they do not desire rivalry, there is a place for mutual respect only.
Do we perceive love differently in our 20s and our 80s? Expectations, together with experience, are transformed with our individual development and experience. When we are around 25, our emotions are filtered through the idea of family, about travel, also we plan housing and the future. At 40, when we already have children and experiences, we look and appreciate more the value of friendship, peace and harmony in the 80s.
Does the intensity of love change with age? Every true love, along with love, is very strong at any age. That is unless a man is completely burned out, he would not initiate the fire of love within himself or in any other.
Do we ever forget love, despite all our worries? We often forget to pamper our partners, and stereotypes creep into relationships. We let it lull us into a lull, and then it happens that we suddenly "wake up" and wonder if that's how we imagined love. Those who suffer from feelings for a long time indeed look for something else after a certain period of time.
Can we fall in love with a life partner more than once? Falling in love with a life partner can ignite a threat to a long-term relationship. One of the couples falls in love elsewhere and outlines their next plans to the other. They are "shocked out of the sleep" and begin to realize on a rational level what they liked about their partners. They often begin to blame, looking for their own mistakes. Leaving suddenly makes them realize what love means to them, and it burns again, like a new fire-making set.
Does love include a sense of danger to the existence of a relationship? I'm sure. It alarms us to realize the relationship and what it means to us. That's why there should always be dynamism and sparkle in it, so that neither of them is completely sure about the relationship and that something is still being creatively created and invented to avoid extinction.
Does love have its phases depending on how we experience it? The initial infatuation, the infatuation is caused by pheromones, then comes love, and a lot depends on how we treat love, how we can grow it and water it like a plant. Winged notion is that it lasts about four to six months, but I think it can last over two years. It depends on how much freedom we give each other. If we spend all our time together and soon combine our lives, we take away the joy of looking out for ourselves. But indefinitely, love can't last, it would be more of a manifestation of immovability. In the love phase, our partnership gradually deepens. Knowing each other's mistakes, we still love each other.
In addition to feeling, is deep love already embedded in the head? It's still about feeling, but it's good to remember it, to be aware, even if emotional waves don't come so often on their own, we support their onset with reason when we realize that our partner is still amazing and that we love them. At the same time, we must give each other opportunities to realize love. With all the worries and responsibilities we deal with in everyday life, few people today have time to stop and realize their feelings. And that's too bad.
Is there such a thing as lover telepathy? Love certainly includes situations where we know that at one point we both want to say the same thing. Love without words is a situation when we have been through a lot together, and we do not have to explain much. Such a phase of deep love comes with experience and age.
How to inspire love in another? Definitely by supporting everything that falls within the values of not only friendship but also desires, when rarity works, managed by occasional unattended things, maintaining attractiveness. It is good to take care of your soul and appearance. The poison, on the other hand, is the complete symbiosis of the couple in the form: I will not move anywhere without my partner.
Is there a difference between how women understand love and how men understand it? I'm sure. Women ripen mentally at an early stage understanding they are future mothers and protectors of the warmth of home. Thus, they incorporate more into love and everything they expect from a man---that is, fatherly love, responsibility. A man wants---at least at first---much more esprit, fun, fascination. It is only with age that the ideas of both sexes come to an all-out maturity. Both men and women want their counterpart to be sexually, financially and intellectually attractive, to be representative in society.
How to show love just right? That's very important. If we love, we can better sense the true level of expression, if only because we are interested in each other, trying to understand, to listen, and trying to be empathetic. The important thing is to be able to communicate, to deal with things in time so that they do not lie in us like a bad bite. We are not without fault, and sometimes we are insensitive, so it is also necessary to be able to apologize from time to time.
Is love good for us? You can live without it, but life becomes much poorer in that case. One is happy in love, endorphins and positive energy make them more attractive.
How to teach children to love? By my own example. My psychological practice shows that people who grew up in an idyllic environment carry too much expectation into relationships, those who grew up in a conflicting environment desire the opposite in adult life, but have not learned to apply it in practice, so they have to look a lot. If they succeed, they can have a more valuable relationship. The children who grew up with their parents, whose relationship was "normal", have a good start in their partnership life. Children do not benefit from an emotional greenhouse, where parents do not solve anything at all. They have to feel like their parents love each other, even if they fight and yell at each other. Children should be there when parents can apologize to themselves, hug each other, kiss and see that every conflict can be resolved. These memories are important to their future relationship life.